That boy and that girl

There was this girl and this boy and as much as she wanted him
She could never really figure out what he wanted
He never understood her
She never understood him
Everything was perfectly fine but at the same time terribly wrong
We have come to spilt ways because of one misunderstanding
Because what I thought was love was something far away from what love really is
So far beyond reality it took me so long to come back to my senses
The truth was that she deserved someone far better
Either way she couldn’t see it
Even after all of her friends had made up their opinions of him
He was no good for her
But still her heart kept beating for him
And only him
Cause that’s the stupid thing about love
You don’t get to chose who you’ll fall in love with
You just fall and sometimes the other person catches you and other times he or she might let you fall through the ground
The thing was that she always knew that things wouldn’t work out between them
She was just obsessed by the thought of having him
She knew that she would end up being hurt right after their first conversation
She just avoided thinking of it
She wanted this more than anything so she tried all she could
where is he now?
Most important of all where is she?
Did things go the way she had imagined?
Did she ever get the chance to call him hers
Did he want the same as her ?

Bloody wrists and triggering images

Tags

#depression #bipolar #moodswings #mentaldisorders #thoughts #selfhate #selfharm #feelings #help #anxiety #strength #staystrong #suicideprevention #recovery #change #people #world #hurt #annoyed

I find it quite sad and very interesting.
Sad that someone have that tiny of brain and, think cuts are beautiful and encourage others to cut.
Self-harm isn’t for attention as a former selfharmer I know that for a fact. I never showed off my cuts and said hey look how deeply in pain I am or posted any pictures of them on any form of social-media. Still I’ve seen many people use it as a way to get attention, and that makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I’ve seen people comment on pictures of bloody wrists and they comment things that would have encouraged me to cut even more, so I’m probably not the only one who feels that way. I find it interesting that someone thinks bloody writs are beautiful, if you’re reading this and thinking but I do think they’re beautiful. Then something is terribly wrong with you and, you should seek professional help. Bloody wrists full of cuts aren’t beautiful and everybody should share that opinion! I’m not saying people with scars from struggling aren’t beautiful cause they are! Some of them are the most beautiful creatures I’ve ever seen. Their scars aren’t ugly, they show signs of strength at their weakest moments. But please don’t tell people about how beautiful and perfect their cuts look or how much you wished they were yours.
You’re not helping them by saying that and you’re not making them feel better about it. In fact all you do is make it worse. I personally think posting pictures of self-harmed wrist, arms or thighs should be forbidden and deleted from all social-media, unless they’re not fresh cause then it’s not that triggering. To be honest trying to quit haven’t been easy when those pictures pop up randomly once in a while. I just hope people could think more of the consequences of their pictures, especially when it’s triggering others struggling.

Am I stupid?

Tags

#bipolar #life #stupid #dumb #wisewords #quotes #mentaldisorders #view #people #humans #respect #smart #inspiration

Stupidity can only be acknowledged when you realize that a person sees the world from everyone else’s view but has closed their eyes to see what’s really going on and how everything actually is.
A human being can’t tell you what’s right for you
They can’t guide you through life
You have to walk to the end by yourself
So open up your eyes and just look
Maybe then you will understand.

Addiction or just fiction?

Tags

bipolar, depressed, hurt, hypomania, issues, life, mentaldisorders, moodswings, sad, scars, selfharm, selfhate, words

I’ve never really understood why we do this to ourself?

How we came up with it?
Who started it?
Why did I ever do it?
Why is it so addictive?

I get the fact that it’s a prof of existence
And we feel alive
We know we’re alive because we see the blood
We feel so dead inside
That we have to prove ourself wrong
We really don’t know what’s going on

What brought us here?
Who started it?
Why did I ever do it?
Why is it so addictive?

We’re so far gone
I wish I could save myself
I really want to quit but I can’t
I’ve trapped myself for so long
I feel like I’m holding on
So I can go on
But what am I doing wrong?
Am I really that gone?
Why can’t I move on?
I don’t want to hold on

What brought us here?
Who started it?
Why did I ever do it?
Why is it so addictive?

But it’s my way to survive
It’s my escape from the pain
I’m not alone
We’re many out there who feel the same way
And we all want to stay this way
We feel like there is no other way
We’ve nothing left to say
Other than this is us trying to stay
Be here to help us on the way

Normal but also bipolar!

Tags

bipolar, happiness, mania, mentaldisorders, moodswings, selfharm, stigma, stopjudging, suicidal, words

I’ve always been the ugly one even I considered myself as the ugly one.
It’s a horrible feeling to walk around thinking so low of yourself, thinking that you will never be worth it. My issue has always been myself, no one else. As bipolar I get to experience a lot of moodswings, I can explain how it’s like to live with bipolardisorder but, you wont ever get the real feeling of how it’s like… I can assure you that it isn’t easy, it takes much of your life away from you, but it also gives you much. Because of my disorder I’m not weak I’m actually stronger than most people. I’ve been close to death but, I’ve also been the happiest I can ever be, I’ve felt like I was worth nothing but, I’ve also felt like I’m god, I’ve been so pissed of that I wanted to murder everyone, and I’ve also been so depressed that the only one I wished could die was myself. Imagine going through that your entire life, do you think it’s easy for me? Do you think it’s easy for anyone else struggling ? I just wish people could stop the hatred, stop thinking that people who struggle mentally are weaker, that we aren’t “normal”. We’re actually stronger because we’ve been knocking on the door to death many times but, we always managed to get it slammed back in our face. People should be proud of us instead of judging us, assuming that our disorder isn’t real, that it’s all in our head.. Well yeah it is all in our head cause our brain doesn’t function the way “normal” brains do and there is nothing I can do about that and nothing any other bipolar person could do. I’m a unique individual and so is everyone else, with or without bipolar disorder.